Ich wünsche Euch allen weit und breit, eine fröhliche und schöne Adventszeit! Bedenkt jedoch dabei - den Konsumgutschein vom Staat haben wir noch nicht in der Hand. Glauben tue ich schon lange nicht mehr am Weihnachtsmann und noch weniger an die da oben in der Regierung
Good Day All I am in the process of winding down the estate of my late gardener Petrus who passed away on a neighboring property last week. Amongst his personal possessions was a 8 mega pixel digital camera, the photo quality is outstanding. Enclosed is the last picture which the late Petrus took with his camera. Kind Regards
Discrimination is the prejudicial treatment of a person or a group of people based on certain characteristics.
Diskriminierung ist eine gruppenspezifische Benachteiligung oder Herabwürdigung von Gruppen oder Individuen.
A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time. The teacher says to the first child ''Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?'' Becky replies ''I have been playing in the sand box.''
''Very good,'' says the teacher ''if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit.'' Becky duly goes and writes's-a-n-d'on the blackboard. ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.
The teacher then says,''Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?'' Freddie replies, ''Playing with Becky in the sand box.''
''Very good,'' says the teacher, ''if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard,I will also give you a biscuit.'' Freddie duly goes and writes'b-o-x'on the blackboard. ''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.
Teacher then says, ''Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?''
''No,'' replies Mohammed, ''I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they startedthrowing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives."
''Oh dear,'' says the teacher, ''that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me - I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination" I will give you a biscuit.''
A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"
Wir benötigen: Eiswürfel, Nähgarn oder Wolle, Trinkglas, Holzstäbchen oder Bleistift, Schere und Kochsalz
Schritt 1. Falls wir keine kleine Eiswürfel vorrätig habe, füllen wir eine Stunde vor dem Experiment Wasser in einem Eiswürfelbehälter und stellen ihn in die Tiefkühltruhe. Dann schneiden wir etwa 20 cm vom Nähgarn oder der Wolle ab.
Schritt 2. Aus dem Bleistift und dem Nähgarn basteln wir uns jetzt eine Angel. Dazu knoten wir das Garn an einem Ende des Stifts fest. Danach lösen wir die Eiswürfel aus dem Behälter und füllen sie in ein Trinkglas.
Schritt 3. Wir legen das freie Ende der Angelschnur vorsichtig auf einen der Eiswürfel, dabei braucht man eine ruhige Hand: Jetzt streuen wir ein paar Salzkörnchen auf den Faden, der auf dem Eiswürfel liegt. Das Eis schmilzt etwas, wird aber wieder fest und friert die Schnur mit ein.
Schritt 4. Nun können wir den Eiswürfel aus dem Glas angeln. Salzwasser friert nicht so leicht wie Wasser, deshalb bringt das Salz das Eis zum Schmelzen. Mit dem Schmelzwasser schwimmt das Salz weg. Das Wasser am Eiswürfel kann jetzt wieder fest werden - auch um die Schnur herum.
Strange but true (bis 1994 hatten sie darum gekämpft, als "weiße" eingestuft zu werden):
Sie wollen nicht mehr farbig sein und reichen deshalb Klage ein: Jetzt hat ein Gericht die rund 10 000 Chinesen in Südafrika tatsächlich als Schwarze eingestuft. Die Einwanderer litten, wie alle Nichtweißen, während der Apartheid unter Diskriminierungen, bis die Demokraten den Rassismus 1994 zumindest offiziell abschafften - die Chinesen allerdings galten weiterhin als "farbig" und bekamen im Gegensatz zu Schwarzen, Indern und gemischtrassigen Menschen keine Entschädigung. Nach dem Grundsatzurteil bekommen auch die Chinesen ihr Geld. - uk
Strange but true (before 1994, the Chinese struggled to be classified as "white")
The ruling yesterday is the culmination of an eight-year struggle by the Chinese Association of South Africa (Casa) to obtain clarity from the Government as to the status of Chinese people since the end of white rule in 1994. Patric Chong, the chairman of Casa, said: “As Chinese South Africans we were officially classified as ‘Coloured’ and suffered under the same discriminatory laws prior to 1994. The logical inference was thus that Chinese South Africans would automatically qualify for the same benefits as the ‘Coloured’ group, post1994. This was not the case and Chinese South Africans suffered a second round of unfair discrimination.” In a landmark ruling the Pretoria High Court accepted the Chinese as a “previously disadvantaged” group. This means that – at least in legal terms – Chinese South Africans will now be included in the definition of black people in legislation covering lucrative black economic empowerment (BEE) deals. From The Times, June 19, 2008
Wie gut, dass das Wetter nun langsam wieder besser wird und man an der frischen Luft seinen sportlichen Ausgleich finden kann! Da sind gefahren der körperlichen Verletzungen mit solchen Geräten wie hier oben mit falscher Bedienung nahezu ausgeschlossen *g*
Ein toller Vorschlag, wie das Leben eigentlich ablaufen sollte, wurde mir zugeschickt und hat mich mal wieder richtig zum lachen gebracht.
Lieber Gott, hier ein kleiner Verbesserungsvorschlag:
Das Leben sollte mit dem Tod beginnen - und nicht andersherum! Stell Dir das mal vor: Du liegst six feet under, es ist dunkel und muffig und dann gräbst Du dich dem Licht entgegen.
Dort angekommen gehst Du ins Altersheim, es geht Dir von Monat zu Monat besser und wirst dann rausgeschmissen, weil Du zu jung wirst, spielst danach ein paar Jahre Golf bei fetter Rente, kriegst eine goldene Uhr vom Arbeitgeber und fängst gaaaanz laaangsam an zu arbeiten.
Nachdem Du damit durch bist, geht's auf die Uni. Du hast inzwischen genug Geld, um das Studentenleben in Saus und Braus zu genießen, nimmst Drogen, hast nix als Frauen bzw. Männer im Kopf und säufst dir ständig die Hucke voll. Wenn Du davon so richtig stumpf geworden bist, wird es Zeit für die Schule, die natürlich mit einer einwöchigen Klassenfahrt ins benachbarte Ausland beginnt.
In der Schule wirst Du von Jahr zu Jahr blöder, bis Du schließlich auch hier rausfliegst, natürlich mit einer riesigen Tüte voller Süßigkeiten. Danach spielst Du ein paar Jahre im Sandkasten, anschließend dümpelst Du neun Monate in einer Gebärmutter herum und beendest dein Leben als ORGASMUS!
Chinese Proverb: "When someone shares something of value with you, and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others."
The love story of Ralph and Edna
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is...Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.' Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
The fortunes of Zimbabwe have for almost three decades been tied to President Robert Mugabe, the pro-independence campaigner who wrested control from a small white community and became the country's first black leader.
Now, he presides over a nation whose economy is in tatters, where poverty and unemployment are endemic and political strife and repression commonplace.
For years it was a major tobacco producer and a potential bread basket for surrounding countries.
But the forced seizure of almost all white-owned commercial farms, with the stated aim of benefiting landless black Zimbabweans, led to sharp falls in production and precipitated the collapse of the agriculture-based economy. The country has endured rampant inflation and critical food and fuel shortages.
Many Zimbabweans survive on grain handouts. Others have voted with their feet; hundreds of thousands of Zimbabweans, including much-needed professionals, have emigrated.
Aid agencies and critics partly blame food shortages on the land reform programme. The government blames a long-running drought, and Mr Mugabe has accused Britain and its allies of sabotaging the economy in revenge for the redistribution programme. *smile*
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment." "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely that she can also think.
Emergency exits at Beijing airport read "No entry on peacetime" and the Ethnic Minorities Park is named "Racist Park".
A road sign on Beijing's Avenue of Eternal Peace warns of a dangerous pavement with the words: "To Take Notice of Safe; The Slippery are Very Crafty". "
Carefully meet (小心碰头 / 小心碰頭) = Watch your head We can't stand the sight of mattress fragrant grass = Don't step on the grass Comic noodles = instant noodles used in Cantonese-speaking regions. No entry in peacetime = Not for normal entry. Emergency Exit. Extraordinary Door (非常门 / 非常門) = Emergency Exit Careful Landslip, Attention Security (小心地滑 注意安全) = Warning: Slippery Floor (for your own safety) The City is Clean. The People are Happy = Do not litter Ban the use for maintenance of equipment = Out of order pending repairs The visitor halts (游人止步) = Restricted area to visitors Fuck the Certain Price of Goods (干货计价处 / 乾[幹]貨計價處) = "Dry Goods Pricing Department" After first under on, do riding with civility. (先下后上 文明乘车) = Let others disembark before boarding trains Site of Jumping Umbrella= Paragliding Site Danger! Inhibition astraddle transgress. = Danger! No entry Disabled Elevators= Elevator for handicapped people Oil gate. / Into. = Filling station / Entrance To take notice of safe = The slippery are very crafty. (注意安全 坡道路滑) = Be careful, slippery slopes Burned meat biscuit = BBQ (meat) flavoured biscuit Question Authority = Information centre Please Steek Gently = Please close door gently (关门 / 關門
4 Lekker chicks in die Jacuzzi.... 4 Nice chicks in the Jacuzzi….
Killer Biscuits wanted for attempted Murder (The actual AP headline)
Lisa Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Lisa’s eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she’d been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. Lisa is blonde.
"Der Frühling kommt und bringt uns die lang ersehnten Sonnenstrahlen. Dies ist in vielen Haushalten ein Zeichen. Dann wird der Putzeimer aus der Ecke geholt und losgeputzt, damit die Wohnung auf Hochglanz kommt. Aber nicht nur im Frühling sollte man grundlegend die Wohnung säubern, sondern man sollte sich täglich mit der Sauberkeit in der eigenen Wohnung auseinander setzen."
Für mehr Tipps zum Frühjahrsputz hier unten auf dem Link klicken:
