Bienenhochzeit

Sonntag, 10. Mai 2009

Jeder Bienenstaat feiert irgendwann,
große Hochzeit, dass weiß jedermann.

Die Drohnen, eh von Weibchen erschaffen,
haben den Zweck nur, diese zu begatten.

Das Leben ist ja manchmal so beschissen,
das können diese Kerlchen noch nicht wissen.

Er für sein kurzes Pläsierchen dann,
anschließend gleich krepieren kann.

Die holde Weiblichkeit weiß jedoch Bescheid,
und macht sich gleich für den nächsten bereit.
Renate Siedentopf

 

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Der Schlaf

Montag, 23. März 2009

Das Kunststück der Lebensweisheit ist, den Schlaf jeder Art zur rechten Zeit einzuschieben wissen.
Friedrich Nietzsche

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Vertrauen - Trust

Mittwoch, 4. März 2009

 

Mir wurden wunderschöne Bilder zugeschickt und auch ein wunderschönes Ereignis jedoch mit Katze und Hund die ich im nächsten Eintrag schildern werde, habe ich erleben dürfen. Da fällt mir ein Gedicht ein:

Naturgewalten

Das sind Urkräfte,
die uns zueinander ziehen -
magnetische Naturgewalten,
denen wir nicht trotzen könnten,
selbst wenn wir es wollten.

Lass uns noch tiefer vertrauen
Und höher aufeinander bauen,
bis keine Hindernisse
uns mehr die freie Aussicht
auf unsere Möglichkeiten rauben.
- H. Kruppa -

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Men versus Women

Samstag, 17. Januar 2009

 I received an email with the following comment:

Women as explained by engineers.
Forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all women who have a good sense of humor.
 
By all means, why laugh about it?

I feel honoured, being compared with sophisticated equipment. Normal machinery you just switch on and off and no special skill is required. Sophisticated equipment needs a lot of tuning. This machinery needs operators with a lot of skill, expertise, knowledge and intelligence. In other words - engineers who do properly understand the mathematical, mechanical and electrical make up of this highly sophisticated equipment/machinery called women! *smile*

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Women as explained by Engineers

Donnerstag, 15. Januar 2009

Women as explained by Engineers!

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Baptism

Montag, 5. Januar 2009

Picture: Early gay signs

This is a great short story  

After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window.
 
The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.
 
As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.
 
"Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!" she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.
 
"We were just playing 'church' mommy," he said.
"And I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in...the hole-he-goes."

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Constipation / Verstopfung

Dienstag, 9. Dezember 2008

Do you suffer from constipation?

Relief is in sight!

This is an old African cure for constipation.

 

Leiden Sie an Verstopfung?

Erlösung ist in sicht!

Hier, ein alt afrikanisches Heilmittel gegen Verstopfung!







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Werbung

Dienstag, 2. Dezember 2008



Werbung soll ja bekanntlich einschlagen und sich im Gehirn der Menschen manifestieren. Ob dies natürlich dann auch immer geschieht, hängt sicher vom Auge des Betrachters ab. Witzig fand ich auf allemal die Werbung hier oben im Bild von "Blume Bestattungen" über den Ortseingangsschild "Hölle". Ich konnte nur schmunzeln.

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Chain letters - Kettenbriefe

Freitag, 21. November 2008

Normal 0 21 false false false

I'm Still waiting.... I did what you told me ..

I sent the email to 10 people like you said & I'm still waiting for that miracle to happen.  

 

To all my friends who in the last year sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something -  
NONE OF THAT STUFF WORKED!


For 2009, could you please just send
money, vodka, scotch or petrol vouchers........

 - thank you!


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Pack of Dogs Attacking a Crocodile at Kruger Park

Samstag, 23. August 2008

At times nature can be cruel but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.
The crocodile, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the 'apex predator', can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and survival of the pack mentality bred into the canines.
See the remarkable photograph attached, courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the croc' preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the croc'.

NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH





























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Camera for Sale

Dienstag, 5. August 2008



Good Day All
I am in the process of winding down the estate of my late gardener Petrus who passed away on a neighboring property last week. Amongst his personal possessions was a 8 mega pixel digital camera, the photo quality is outstanding. Enclosed is the last picture which the late Petrus took with his camera.
Kind Regards

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Payment by Cheque in Zimbabwe

Montag, 4. August 2008



$1072418003000000-00

One quadrillion seventy two trillion four hundred and eighteen billion and tree million dollars only--

 

I am sure, some of us would have a problem with the Zeros - or mind you, a Zero more or less does not matter!

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Social Service in South Africa

Mittwoch, 30. Juli 2008


Safest pub in South Africa (4 Police officers)


Admin lady at pension and welfare office.
Note poster in the background - "Basic Conditions of Employment Act"
You just gotta love this country!!



These pictures are proof of the fact, that Social Service in South Africa is the best in the world!!

Hierdie is 'n ware weergawe van HOEKOM dienslewering in SA die beste ter wereld is!!

Diese Bilder zeugen dafür, dass die Dienstleistung in Südafrika spitzenklasse auf der Welt ist!!


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Discrimination - Diskriminierung

Dienstag, 29. Juli 2008


Discrimination is the prejudicial treatment of a person or a group of people based on certain characteristics.

Diskriminierung ist eine gruppenspezifische Benachteiligung oder Herabwürdigung von Gruppen oder Individuen.

A class of five-year old schoolchildren return to the classroom after playing in the playground during their break time.
The teacher says to the first child ''Hello Becky, what have you been doing this Playtime?''
Becky replies ''I have been playing in the sand box.''

''Very good,'' says the teacher ''if you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I will give you a biscuit.''
Becky duly goes and writes 's-a-n-d' on the blackboard.
''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Becky a biscuit.

 
The teacher then says,''Freddie, what have you been doing in your playtime?''

Freddie replies, ''Playing with Becky in the sand box.''

''Very good,'' says the teacher, ''if you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I will also give you a biscuit.''
Freddie duly goes and writes 'b-o-x' on the blackboard.
''Very good,'' says the teacher and gives Freddie a biscuit.

 
Teacher then says, ''Hello Mohammed, have you been playing in the sand box with Becky and Freddie?''

 
''No,'' replies Mohammed, ''I wanted to, but they would not let me. Every time I went near them they started throwing sand at me, calling me nasty names and asking to see under my jacket in case I had explosives."

''Oh dear,'' says the teacher, ''that sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me - 
I'll tell you what, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination" I will give you a biscuit.''


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Sailing

Montag, 14. Juli 2008



I just read a quote and it reminded me of the most beautiful Photos I could capture on the Chiemsee a year ago, to underline this quote

 

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.

- Louisa May Alcott -


 

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Just a Mum

Sonntag, 13. Juli 2008


- Picture: Brakpan Seafood platter -

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the Motor Registration office, was asked by the counter clerk to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

'What I mean is,' explained the counter clerk, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.'

'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' said the clerk emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Medicare office. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed.

What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out.
'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right.

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest, 'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply,
'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and
indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.'

Motherhood!

What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' and great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates?'
I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts 'Associate Research Assistants.'

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Der Höhepunkt

Mittwoch, 9. Juli 2008



A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for
dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

"Ralph , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"

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Welcome to South Africa

Dienstag, 8. Juli 2008



Aint it the truth?

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon, from Durban, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second, from Johannesburg, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon, from Bloemfontein, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon, from Pretoria chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."

But the fifth surgeon, from Cape Town shut them all up when he observed:

"You're all wrong ANC Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable."


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Hohe Benzinpreise

Montag, 7. Juli 2008



Wir hatten mal wieder sehr viel Spaß auf einer 72km Radtour zum Walfest in Oberhummel am Wochenende. Das Wetter spielte einigermaßen mir - ist ja auch langweilig, wenn man immer nur schönes Wetter hat *g*
Energiebeladen können wir nun wieder eine anstrengende Woche antreten und werden diese auch erfolgreich meistern können.

Unsere Neulinge sind nun auch mit Gellsattel und Radlerhosen ausgestattet, dann macht es doppelt Spaß. Noch halten sie tapfer mit und sind nach jeder Radtour total begeistert. Freuen tue ich mich auf unsere Radtour zum Tollwood in München. Es wird bestimmt eine sehr schöne und lange Strecke - da wird unser Hintern trotz Gellsattel merken, dass wir geradelt sind *g*

Ich bin mir am überlegen, ob ich demnächst nicht mit dem Rad in die Arbeit fahre. Mit den hohen Benzinpreisen, lohnt es sich kaum noch mit dem Pkw in die arbeit zu fahren. Bei einer Entfernung von ca. 45km einfach, wird es verdammt teuer zudem man mit der km Pauschale vom Staat auch noch benachteiligt wird. Wenn man dabei bedenkt, dass der Benzinpreis ja auch nur so hoch ist, weil der deutsche Staat sich größtenteils daran bereichert. Statt den noch vorhandenen Arbeitnehmern zu motivieren, dass sie eine Arbeitstelle nachgehen, wird alles daran getan sie zur Arbeitslosigkeit zu zwingen. Draufzahlen, damit man seine Arbeitstelle nachgehen kann, dass will bestimmt keiner! Ich verstehe immer mehr, warum es so viele Langzeitarbeitslose in Deutschland gibt. Würde ich stempeln, hätte ich mehr zur Verfügung als wenn ich meine Arbeit nachgehe. Irgendwie ist das ganze doch Verrückt und verstehen tun es die wenigsten. Obwohl, ich glaube einige Langzeitarbeitslosen haben es sehr gut verstanden und wissen auch warum sie nicht eine Arbeit nachgehen wollen.

Man ist ja versichert auf dem Weg zur Arbeitstelle - wie sieht es da mit der Versicherung aus, wenn man mit dem Rad 90km zur und von der Arbeitstelle fährt??
Kann man sich krank melden, wenn man zu krank ist um mit dem Rad in die Arbeit zu fahren?? *g*
Man kann ja mit Kopfschmerzen noch einigermaßen seine arbeit nachgehen, jedoch eine 45km Radtour zur Arbeitstelle, dann wieder 45km nach Hause und das mit Kopfschmerzen, gestaltet sich ein wenig schwierig.
Statt die geringe km Pauschale vom Staat, bekommt man dann vom Staat eine Körperverschleißpremie??

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Amazing

Samstag, 5. Juli 2008



This is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time.
For those of you in the 21st century (e.g. blackberry owners), you'll need to look at this on a pc. You also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer. People may think you're crazy.
But it's well worth it.
When you look at this picture in a closer look you see its Albert Einstein. But if you stand 15 feet away, it will become Marilyn Monroe.
Give it a try!

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